To learn to say no !
I guess one of the very important things that I should learn to do in the coming days is the ability to say no gracefully. You can say that I am a yes man, in fact I was quite proud of it until recently. Being an yes man has been quite a positive thing for me so far, until I continuously ended up hurting my plans by saying yes. And the first time I said a NO, even I felt it kind of being rude and the other person ended up taking it personal. I think it will take me some time to not to be guilty about it. So just in case I am saying No to you next time, its not anything personal, but its just that I have something else more important to do. I sincerely do hope you would understand.
To be felt important !
This post might be a bit narcissistic, but I guess that much narcissism is allowed for anyone.
So far when I was at school/college, my presence was always felt and I could always make a difference to things I did. At least I think so ! I mean I was doing stuff that would be recognized and that always gave me motivation to go do more crazy stuff. But right now in spite of myself doing good and useful work (strictly by my standards however low they might be), I kind of get a feeling too often that does my work worth anywhere at all. Money does not seem to be a good enough motivation. Some times I just resign, telling myself that to be felt important, I just got to do bigger things other than my office work and whatever I do at the office, I can't really expect more than being paid for that. Other times, I feel guilty of the need to be felt important. Sigh !
PS: On a different note, Congrats to Abhilash, Akhil and venkatesh for finishing second at Amrita ICPC regionls. Most probably will they will be going to World finals. Proud of you guys.
Two months in Bangalore !
Today I complete two months in Bangalore. (And in another two days, two months at Yahoo! as well - which is in a different story). I am not so sure what to make out of these two months. Its pretty mixed up. I always fancied living in a city but now that I live in a city I kind of feel city life is pretty fast for me. Back at Neyveli or Trichy it used to be at a pretty comfortable pace and I could always find my ground. I know I will get used to this eventually, but the question is what would I be missing.
Don't get me wrong, there are lots of wonderful things in Bangalore. There are a lot of interesting events, opportunities and _people_ around the place. And then my work, colleagues and experiences at office. There is a lots of learning going on technically, emotionally and socially etc. I realize I have changed a lots over the past two months, sort of matured (much to my own and my friends irritation). Think I am no longer the same 8th std kid I was.
Also for the first time, my thought process has widened like anything. I am really confused about almost every choice I make. I really miss the implicit spoon feeding I enjoyed at college and before. There is no predefined path ahead. Figuring out everything by myself, knowing that it could make a significant difference is overwhelming. But I hope in coming days I will find out what I really want out of myself and when that happens I could as well connect the dots looking backwards.
I feel kind of funny and stupid, having written this post now. But in retrospect I have felt that most of the times.
PS: All the best for Bala, Nagu, Gokul, Vishwa , Prabhu, Dado to name a few among my friends who are leaving/left to US for higher studies. Have a nice time guys !
Moving on !
When I am starting to plan my weekends at bangalore ,I know I have moved on from my college life !
Well, This may be fast, but I suppose it is good that it happened fast. There are still a few things though, that I wish I had done in college, rather got the courage to do in college. But I guess it will pass by as time progresses.
Right now terribly bored of staying home. Somebody pointed out rightly that may be home-sickness is sick of being at home for a long time.
12 more days to go !
Mental Hueristics ??
Out of boredom surfing ( yes, I have discovering new words for my peculiar actions ), I came across a page called Mental Hueristics algorithms. Let me just gist it.
- If you want Something done, do it yourself
- Never procrastinate anything you can do right now
- When you feel there are several things you could be doing and you don't know which one to do, Just do any one thing randomly.
- Always assume that you will succeed
- If you can't find a solution, then change the rules.
- If you can't do anything about something, no point in worrying about it !
- Do not rely on conscious decisions for speed, Just Do it.
- Don't try to explain your actions for yourselves.
- Listen to your intuition but don't believe it unconditionally.
Strange ! Looks like I always knew it but then didn't have the courage or wisdom to do it.
PS: I `stumble` a lot 
தலைவா !
The only super star !
இன்று பிறந்த நாள் காணும் சூப்பர் ஸ்டாரே !
வாழ்த்த வயதில்லை, வணங்குகிறேன்
என்றும் உன் ரசிகன்.
சுரேன்
Venting out
For once I felt really bad that I joined NIT Trichy of all places and I was really really sorry for myself. I have got some really wonderful people from the college: friends, staff and teachers who make me love the college and make my time fun and memorable.But there are also equally bad ones among them that make me feel miserable and sick. Frankly I am very depressed with what people can do to me for the worse, inspite of me being myself. In a moment, I want to leave a mark before I leave the college, thinking of how to help nitt.edu, sun lab, GLUG-T and my delta juniors and suddenly there was a sick mishap and all I am cared about is leave that screwed up place as soon as possible for good. I am more depressed that I have many bad memories about the place.
With power comes responsibility and its time some people realized this.
But what can I do but for silently cry and writhe in pain and people who do this to me sleep peacefully at night. Is to ask for a life in college with self dignity such a crime ? I wish I had more courage.
PS : I have a wonderful set of friends, seniors, juniors and professors whom I am looking forward to for four more months.
Memorable weekend @ Banglore
Before starting, to my anna and anni , wish you a happy married life 
Went to Banglore for my cousin Brother's marriage which went really well. Had a wonderful time with relatives after a long time. I always thought I had lots of kid cousin brothers and sisters. Now they are growing up really fast and a sad corollary is that I am growing too, which means I have to be more responsible and blah blah blah.
Also had the best of times with PK man, Donatello , Venkat , Thalaiva , Hari, Rajagopal and Alagu. Roamed around Brigade road and Garuda for some time and sweared many a times how costly the living is in banglore. By the way Donatello and Venkat are rocking big time in IISc, so much so that there are rumours in the college that there is a D.V.Raman(venkat's full name abbrevated other wise 
) in the making.
Meanwhile our team LRSL for ACM-ICPC ( myself , abhilash and nutty ) qualified for the amrita regionals onsite round after some scene coding by nutty. This happened on same day of the marriage and it was actually kind of hectic being at two places at the same time. Looking forward for the Kerala trip in december where we will be particpating against some biggest programming minds of the country.
There were lots more to the weekend which is personal and might even be trivial. But the thing is all of them added up to a really awesome weekend
PS : updated to Intrepid Ibex and obviously it rocks Had some hiccoughs with the installation because of my hard disk getting older, but then went for a full format and its working like a charm now
You know it’s love…
...when you memorize her IP number to skip DNS overhead.
dunno Why I love this geeky quote very much ! Beats me every time I read it