Suren's Weblog

Life as I see it…

Category: Life

In Trance

Have you ever been in a state where you don’t know what day/date is it and seriously have no idea of knowing it ? Have you been where nothing matters and you are totally impervious to everything that happens around you ? It is as if you realize nothing matters and so you let go of everything ? That is a dangerous place yet a really happy place to go to ! I know it drives you crazy to be there at times and at others its really enjoyable. You pass out of the college, you are supposed to feel bad. But You are as if you never lived there. You are going to a job of your dreams, you are supposed to feel good. But You are as if it never mattered and then you start wondering if that is really a job of your dreams !  All you care about is the boost that you get in the morning – is it hot enough ? does it have enough sugar ? and even that, most of the times is perfect and you tend to not care about that !

May be too much of leisure does not do good on you ! But that again sucks ! You don’t want to be the workaholic everyone knows you to be ! Then you are clearly confused what to do next. You both love and hate what you do and what kind of person does that make you ! You love doing night-outs but don’t want to do them because that makes you not normal. How can you possibly both love and hate topcoder at the same time ? Or is love and hate the same thing ? Is that all it comes down to ? May be its tough to love and hate a thing; but maybe its not that tough to like and dislike the same thing ? And what is liking and what is loving ? Where do you draw the line ? and why should it be a line and not a  curve ? And why the heck do you use so many smiley-s ?

You know you are in trance and you want to get out of it. You think/wish that it will change when you go places, but that is yet to be seen. I wish it changes for you, that you don’t get into this stupid trance once again and you laugh at this post that I even cared to write it for you!

Peace ! Vaazgha :)

EOF for college.

Firstly, twitter has very much changed my blogging habits. I just tweet everything and hence there is not much need to blog anything. Plus twitter has a cute name :P . But I suppose I would be blogging now that I have a decent internet connection and infinitely free daytime. Secondly, what I am trying to acheive from this post is unknown to myself.

Yes, I am done with my college life. I am not sure if I am so happy about it or sad about it.There are mixed feelings about leaving college. At times I think of the happiest and the most productive times I have had in college. Would never get back those times. But at other times I have had the worst of times, emotionally and academically.

Happy sometimes because there are quite a few accomplishments and more than anything I have done almost everything  I wanted to do when I joined. Probably if I had applied for higher studies it would have been complete. But no regrets. I am really happy for my friendship circle. I belong to various gangs at various times and it was fun to keep up with every gang. I know wouldn’t miss my really close friends for we would be in touch but its the juniors and other people I would miss. I have had the honour and the luck to have the best of people in my year, seniors and juniors who have all helped me in some way or the other.Will miss you guys :(

Sad sometimes because I see myself two-three years before and what I am now. I am lot less aggressive and I have greatly reduced my expectations. Should be changing that. Some people have really troubled me during these four years. Whatever it is I just want to say to those people is , no more grudges, Have a happy life. But I guess sad situations have taught lessons about people which I am grateful for.

Coming to the last semester, I wasn’t that attached to college but for Delta and surroundings before the last semester. Last semester was a pleasure and memorable experience. Four trips, NITTfest, endless treats, endless volleyball, new friends from department, final year project and so on. I should mention the infinitely enthusiastic department juniors without whom I don’t think there would have been so much fun.

Coming to Delta, I would miss it the most. The LRSL and sun lab is the difference between myself in 1st year and now. I owe everything to it. The juniors gave me a cubicle item with a delta mark on it. Guys it was awesome. :) There is not words to what this lab means to me and so my request goes like this – Couples who come to sunlab, please don’t spoil the sun lab atmosphere, its not a study room, much less a group study room. By far most of the productive work in college happens here and don’t spoil that.

I am not really that much of a sentimental person and I did feel some induced senti when people left the college. Yes I would miss them, yes there is very less chance of meeting all of them together once again is less, But I just tell myself anyone is just a phone call away or email away and there is always gchat :) Those who miss me, you have my number :P And more than that, there is a world of opportunities open for all of us ahead. There is going to be much fun, work and people, but maybe yes, not like what we had in college. I am really excited to be going to banglore and see what I would be able to do there. If you are coming there, just drop a comment. Lets catch up :)

There are a lots of people I would miss being with. I am grateful that I shared my loveliest times with you. I will always cherish that :) And all you worsht people who had great times pulling my leg, may god protect you from the sins you have committed :P and really I don’t mind, atleast now. I have equally funny getting-chaated sessions :)

And for those I have hurt , I am really sorry :( , never did anything intentional or against my conscience.

Have fun :) God Bless.

Bye Bye NIT Trichy !

PS: I know its not such a good work, But when have I ever been good with words :)

Streaming from Amritapuri

Our team, LRSL ( named so after Last Row of Sun Lab , sort of a cult back in college) consisting of Abilash , Natraj and myself qualified for ACM ICPC Amritapuri regionals round. Its on 6th and here we are at Amrita Kerala Campus. The place is so wonderful and the hospitality of this place is so stunning. The food, hostel and everything else are too good. The Organisers have also planned for trip around to the local beach house and so on. So three days filled with coding, superb food, fun at the beach and superb people around, What better way could I have started the Holidays with :)

PS: Probably Life is a roller coaster ride, One day you are at the bottom and the other day you are at the top :|

Venting out

For once I felt really bad that I joined NIT Trichy of all places and I was really really sorry for myself. I have got some really wonderful people from the college: friends, staff and teachers who make me love the college and make my time fun and memorable.But there are also equally bad ones among them that make me feel miserable and sick. Frankly I am very depressed with what people can do to me for the worse, inspite of me being myself. In a moment, I want to leave a mark before I leave the college, thinking of how to help nitt.edu, sun lab, GLUG-T and my delta juniors and suddenly there was a sick mishap and all I am cared about is leave that screwed up place as soon as possible for good. I am more depressed that I have many bad memories about the place.

With power comes responsibility and its time some people realized this.

But what can I do but for silently cry and writhe in pain and people who do this to me sleep peacefully at night. Is to ask for a life in college with self dignity such a crime ? I wish I had more courage.

PS : I have a wonderful set of friends, seniors, juniors and professors whom I am looking forward to for four more months.

Memorable weekend @ Banglore

Before starting, to my anna and anni , wish you a happy married life :)

Went to Banglore for my cousin Brother’s marriage which went really well. Had a wonderful time with relatives after a long time. I always thought I had lots of kid cousin brothers and sisters. Now they are growing up really fast and a sad corollary is that I am growing too, which means I have to be more responsible and blah blah blah.

Also had the best of times with PK man, Donatello , Venkat , Thalaiva , Hari, Rajagopal and Alagu. Roamed around Brigade road and Garuda for some time and sweared many a times how costly the living is in banglore. By the way Donatello and Venkat are rocking big time in IISc, so much so that there are rumours in the college that there is a D.V.Raman(venkat’s full name abbrevated other wise :P ) in the making.

Meanwhile our team LRSL for ACM-ICPC ( myself , abhilash and nutty ) qualified for the amrita regionals onsite round after some scene coding by nutty. This happened on same day of the marriage and it was actually kind of hectic being at two places at the same time. Looking forward for the Kerala trip in december where we will be particpating against some biggest programming minds of the country.

There were lots more to the weekend which is personal and might even be trivial. But the thing is all of them added up to a really awesome weekend

PS : updated to Intrepid Ibex and obviously it rocks :) Had some hiccoughs with the installation because of my hard disk getting older, but then went for a full format and its working like a charm now :)

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