Suren's Weblog

Life as I see it…

Category: Life

On love and other things

Diclaimer: This post is my interpretation of two of melodramatic movies. Both of them with completely different story lines and one can go on to say they convey entirely opposite meanings. Also, I have no authority on the subject, but what the heck.

Serendipity is where John Cusack and Kate Beckinsale meet on a christmas eve,have precious few hours and feel a connection between them. He wants her number but she insists that, if fate wanted them to meet again, they would. So he writes his name and phone number on a 5 dollar bill and gives it away and she writes her name and phone on a book and agrees to sell it in a book shop. The rest of the movie is about how they meet again after few (predictable) twists and turns.

500 Days of Summer is about Joseph Gordon-Levitt who falls in love with Zooey Deschanel and believes she is his soul-mate, though she lets him know up front that she doesn’t really believe in relationships. When she breaks up with him and marries some one else, it does a real number on him. Eventually he lets her go, after he realises there is no such thing as destiny or soul-mate, instead everything is just coincidence.

As I mentioned earlier, the films are entirely contrasting in their message. While the first one is about how fate is always trying to get you to your significant other, the latter is that there is no cosmic significance to one’s love life. There is one common point though. Destiny or no destiny, what one gets is only the sum of how much passion he has towards that. The sum of all your actions decides where you go, or in this case, whom you get to live with. Life is short. Moments that you can remember are much shorter. What I am trying to get at it is, go have your moments. If you fail, that is okay. You can crib about it later. It will get you a real nice story to tell your friends at least.

The pursuit of Happyness

Disclaimer: The post was written over a few months, so the continuity might be at loss and no, This is not about the Will Smith movie.

So I have been thinking. Why this rat race ? What final purpose does it solve ? If the ultimate goal of life is to be happy, why spend your time in front of computers doing somebody’s work, living somebody else’s life, which you are not sure if it matters at any level or to any one? Why live a life which you are not content about, let alone being excited about it ? What is the point of existence when one really can’t define what is fun ? I mean why can’t one be content with what oneself has ? Why the urge for more ? Or If I may, for Who ?

Do you know how a sine curve looks ? One day I live on the positive peak of it. Work is good, food is good, music I listen is good, Things I do are good. Next day, sometimes same day but on a different hour I am drowning in its negative trench. There are also times when nothing matters. Let the lightning drop next to me, I won’t move a muscle. But there are also times when even touch-me-not plant seems less sensitive. Its no f??king consolation that a lot of people feel the same way.

But off late the amplitude of that sine function has gone down. I stay closer to the normalcy line. The curve seem to have dampened with occasional minor impulses either side of the axis. And at times, I think I have got the big picture, That my purpose does not have any great cosmic significance but only to my own pursuit of happiness, which is nothing but a electrochemical state of the mind brought about by varied stimuli.

Too much thinking is bad for health.

To learn to say no !

I guess one of the very important things that I should learn to do in the coming days is the ability to say no gracefully. You can say that I am a yes man, in fact I was quite proud of it until recently. Being an yes man has been quite a positive thing for me so far, until I continuously ended up hurting my plans by saying yes. And the first time I said a NO, even I felt it kind of being rude and  the other person ended up taking it personal. I think it will take me some time to not to be guilty about it. So just in case I am saying No to you next time, its not anything personal, but its just that I have something else more important to do. I sincerely do hope you would understand.

Two months in Bangalore !

Today I complete two months in Bangalore. (And in another two days, two months at Yahoo! as well – which is in a different story). I am not so sure what to make out of these two months. Its pretty mixed up. I always fancied living in a city but now that I live in a city I kind of feel city life is pretty fast for me. Back at Neyveli or Trichy it used to be at a pretty comfortable pace and I could always find my ground. I know I will get used to this eventually, but the question is what would I be missing.

Don’t get me wrong, there are lots of wonderful things in Bangalore. There are a lot of interesting events, opportunities and _people_ around the place. And then my work, colleagues and experiences at office. There is a lots of learning going on technically, emotionally and socially etc. I realize I have changed a lots over the past two months, sort of matured (much to my own and my friends irritation). Think I am no longer the same 8th std kid I was.

Also for the first time, my thought process has widened like anything. I am really confused about almost every choice I make. I really miss the implicit spoon feeding I enjoyed at college and before. There is no predefined path ahead. Figuring out everything by myself, knowing that it could make a significant difference is overwhelming. But I hope in coming days I will find out what I really want out of myself and when that happens I could as well connect the dots looking backwards.

I feel kind of funny and stupid, having written this post now. But in retrospect I have felt that most of the times.

PS: All the best for Bala, Nagu, Gokul, Vishwa , Prabhu, Dado to name a few among my friends who are leaving/left to US for higher studies. Have a nice time guys !

Moving on !

When I am starting to plan my weekends at bangalore ,I know I have moved on from my college life !

Well, This may be fast, but I suppose it is good that it happened fast. There are still a few things though, that I wish I had done in college, rather got the courage to do in college. But I guess it will pass by as time progresses.

Right now terribly bored of staying home. Somebody pointed out rightly that may be home-sickness is sick of being at home for a long time.

12 more days to go !

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