To learn to say no !
I guess one of the very important things that I should learn to do in the coming days is the ability to say no gracefully. You can say that I am a yes man, in fact I was quite proud of it until recently. Being an yes man has been quite a positive thing for me so far, until I continuously ended up hurting my plans by saying yes. And the first time I said a NO, even I felt it kind of being rude and the other person ended up taking it personal. I think it will take me some time to not to be guilty about it. So just in case I am saying No to you next time, its not anything personal, but its just that I have something else more important to do. I sincerely do hope you would understand.
To be felt important !
This post might be a bit narcissistic, but I guess that much narcissism is allowed for anyone.
So far when I was at school/college, my presence was always felt and I could always make a difference to things I did. At least I think so ! I mean I was doing stuff that would be recognized and that always gave me motivation to go do more crazy stuff. But right now in spite of myself doing good and useful work (strictly by my standards however low they might be), I kind of get a feeling too often that does my work worth anywhere at all. Money does not seem to be a good enough motivation. Some times I just resign, telling myself that to be felt important, I just got to do bigger things other than my office work and whatever I do at the office, I can't really expect more than being paid for that. Other times, I feel guilty of the need to be felt important. Sigh !
PS: On a different note, Congrats to Abhilash, Akhil and venkatesh for finishing second at Amrita ICPC regionls. Most probably will they will be going to World finals. Proud of you guys.
Two months in Bangalore !
Today I complete two months in Bangalore. (And in another two days, two months at Yahoo! as well - which is in a different story). I am not so sure what to make out of these two months. Its pretty mixed up. I always fancied living in a city but now that I live in a city I kind of feel city life is pretty fast for me. Back at Neyveli or Trichy it used to be at a pretty comfortable pace and I could always find my ground. I know I will get used to this eventually, but the question is what would I be missing.
Don't get me wrong, there are lots of wonderful things in Bangalore. There are a lot of interesting events, opportunities and _people_ around the place. And then my work, colleagues and experiences at office. There is a lots of learning going on technically, emotionally and socially etc. I realize I have changed a lots over the past two months, sort of matured (much to my own and my friends irritation). Think I am no longer the same 8th std kid I was.
Also for the first time, my thought process has widened like anything. I am really confused about almost every choice I make. I really miss the implicit spoon feeding I enjoyed at college and before. There is no predefined path ahead. Figuring out everything by myself, knowing that it could make a significant difference is overwhelming. But I hope in coming days I will find out what I really want out of myself and when that happens I could as well connect the dots looking backwards.
I feel kind of funny and stupid, having written this post now. But in retrospect I have felt that most of the times.
PS: All the best for Bala, Nagu, Gokul, Vishwa , Prabhu, Dado to name a few among my friends who are leaving/left to US for higher studies. Have a nice time guys !
Moving on !
When I am starting to plan my weekends at bangalore ,I know I have moved on from my college life !
Well, This may be fast, but I suppose it is good that it happened fast. There are still a few things though, that I wish I had done in college, rather got the courage to do in college. But I guess it will pass by as time progresses.
Right now terribly bored of staying home. Somebody pointed out rightly that may be home-sickness is sick of being at home for a long time.
12 more days to go !
In Trance
Have you ever been in a state where you don't know what day/date is it and seriously have no idea of knowing it ? Have you been where nothing matters and you are totally impervious to everything that happens around you ? It is as if you realize nothing matters and so you let go of everything ? That is a dangerous place yet a really happy place to go to ! I know it drives you crazy to be there at times and at others its really enjoyable. You pass out of the college, you are supposed to feel bad. But You are as if you never lived there. You are going to a job of your dreams, you are supposed to feel good. But You are as if it never mattered and then you start wondering if that is really a job of your dreams ! All you care about is the boost that you get in the morning - is it hot enough ? does it have enough sugar ? and even that, most of the times is perfect and you tend to not care about that !
May be too much of leisure does not do good on you ! But that again sucks ! You don't want to be the workaholic everyone knows you to be ! Then you are clearly confused what to do next. You both love and hate what you do and what kind of person does that make you ! You love doing night-outs but don't want to do them because that makes you not normal. How can you possibly both love and hate topcoder at the same time ? Or is love and hate the same thing ? Is that all it comes down to ? May be its tough to love and hate a thing; but maybe its not that tough to like and dislike the same thing ? And what is liking and what is loving ? Where do you draw the line ? and why should it be a line and not a curve ? And why the heck do you use so many smiley-s ?
You know you are in trance and you want to get out of it. You think/wish that it will change when you go places, but that is yet to be seen. I wish it changes for you, that you don't get into this stupid trance once again and you laugh at this post that I even cared to write it for you!
Peace ! Vaazgha 
EOF for college.
Firstly, twitter has very much changed my blogging habits. I just tweet everything and hence there is not much need to blog anything. Plus twitter has a cute name 
. But I suppose I would be blogging now that I have a decent internet connection and infinitely free daytime. Secondly, what I am trying to acheive from this post is unknown to myself.
Yes, I am done with my college life. I am not sure if I am so happy about it or sad about it.There are mixed feelings about leaving college. At times I think of the happiest and the most productive times I have had in college. Would never get back those times. But at other times I have had the worst of times, emotionally and academically.
Happy sometimes because there are quite a few accomplishments and more than anything I have done almost everything I wanted to do when I joined. Probably if I had applied for higher studies it would have been complete. But no regrets. I am really happy for my friendship circle. I belong to various gangs at various times and it was fun to keep up with every gang. I know wouldn't miss my really close friends for we would be in touch but its the juniors and other people I would miss. I have had the honour and the luck to have the best of people in my year, seniors and juniors who have all helped me in some way or the other.Will miss you guys 
Sad sometimes because I see myself two-three years before and what I am now. I am lot less aggressive and I have greatly reduced my expectations. Should be changing that. Some people have really troubled me during these four years. Whatever it is I just want to say to those people is , no more grudges, Have a happy life. But I guess sad situations have taught lessons about people which I am grateful for.
Coming to the last semester, I wasn't that attached to college but for Delta and surroundings before the last semester. Last semester was a pleasure and memorable experience. Four trips, NITTfest, endless treats, endless volleyball, new friends from department, final year project and so on. I should mention the infinitely enthusiastic department juniors without whom I don't think there would have been so much fun.
Coming to Delta, I would miss it the most. The LRSL and sun lab is the difference between myself in 1st year and now. I owe everything to it. The juniors gave me a cubicle item with a delta mark on it. Guys it was awesome. There is not words to what this lab means to me and so my request goes like this - Couples who come to sunlab, please don't spoil the sun lab atmosphere, its not a study room, much less a group study room. By far most of the productive work in college happens here and don't spoil that.
I am not really that much of a sentimental person and I did feel some induced senti when people left the college. Yes I would miss them, yes there is very less chance of meeting all of them together once again is less, But I just tell myself anyone is just a phone call away or email away and there is always gchat Those who miss me, you have my number And more than that, there is a world of opportunities open for all of us ahead. There is going to be much fun, work and people, but maybe yes, not like what we had in college. I am really excited to be going to banglore and see what I would be able to do there. If you are coming there, just drop a comment. Lets catch up
There are a lots of people I would miss being with. I am grateful that I shared my loveliest times with you. I will always cherish that And all you worsht people who had great times pulling my leg, may god protect you from the sins you have committed and really I don't mind, atleast now. I have equally funny getting-chaated sessions
And for those I have hurt , I am really sorry , never did anything intentional or against my conscience.
Have fun God Bless.
Bye Bye NIT Trichy !
PS: I know its not such a good work, But when have I ever been good with words
Yahoo! open hack day
Going to yahoo! open hack day with abhilash and alagu. Looking forward to learn something Have bunked pragyan for this not that I mind
By the way, Happy Valentines Day
